Zach lives in New York, where a Death with Dignity law has not yet been passed. After experiencing the compassionate death of his grandfather in California, he continues to share his grandfather’s story to advocate for Death with Dignity laws nationwide.
My grandfather, Don Geller—Zaidi to us—was nothing if not complex. He could be generous and biting, endlessly entertaining and wildly opinionated. He wore his personality proud: loud, unmistakable, and unapologetic. Even in his 90s, he loved poking fun at the “Santa Clara” 49ers, waxing philosophical about God (with zero consensus), and declaring Costco the pinnacle of coffee purveyors.
To me, though, he was simply one of my best friends.
As a kid, he’d walk me to the grocery store, never buying anything of substance, but always making sure I got a plastic ninja toy from the vending machine. I still have those toys. Just like I still see him whenever a boat-sized Cadillac turns the corner, or I hear Christmas music (he’d proudly remind me that much of it was by us Jews), or I guess the price of a meal down to the post-tax subtotal.
He was loud, loving, impossible, and unforgettable. And he didn’t want his story to end with helplessness.
As the years caught up to him, the bravado faded. His body stopped cooperating—balance gone, mobility reduced to a shuffle, internal illnesses stacking up. I never knew the full list of ailments, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was watching a man who once roamed freely become confined by his body, enduring the invasive treatments involved with terminal cancer. He was stripped of autonomy and faced a kind of suffering he never wanted.
He Died on His Terms—Why Can’t All New Yorkers Have That Right?
What he did want—always—was control over his own life. California’s End of Life Option Act gave him that. It allowed him to face death with the same fierce independence that defined how he lived. Surrounded by people who loved him, fully present and fully certain, he made his decision. And I had the privilege of being there to support him.
It wasn’t easy. Watching someone you love say goodbye is gutting. But what I carry with me is not the trauma of watching him waste away or suffer in silence. I carry the peace of knowing he had a choice and the courage to make it. That his final moments were marked by dignity, not deterioration. And I get to remember him in all his glory, not what would have been had he not had the option to choose medical aid in dying.
Zaidi died the way he lived: his way.
The Fight for Medical Aid in Dying: A Historic Moment for New York
I’ve lived in New York for five years now. And that fact haunts me, because if he had lived here, he would not have had this end-of-life option. He would have been forced to suffer and live without autonomy and freedom as his terminal illness took over, despite knowing exactly how he wanted his life to end.
But this year is different. Just last week, after tireless advocacy and emotional testimony from families like mine, the New York State Senate passed the Medical Aid in Dying Act.
It’s a monumental moment. And it means we are just one step away from ensuring that terminally ill New Yorkers can have the same autonomy and peace that my grandfather had.
This isn’t just about one man. It’s about the thousands of New Yorkers currently facing terminal illnesses—many of whom fear not death, but the loss of dignity, control, and a say in how they leave this world.
And one day, it could be about me. Or you. Or someone you love.
Illness, suffering, and death don’t check your zip code. Our laws shouldn’t either.
After more than a decade of effort, this moment is historic. The New York State Legislature has listened. They’ve acted. And now, I hope Governor Hochul can finish this work to bring this critical and necessary law into effect.
I am so grateful to Death with Dignity and the other organizations fighting for this end-of-life option in my state and across the country, and thank you to every advocate, lawmaker, and family member who has spoken out to make this happen. You helped make this happen.
Take the Pledge: Ensuring Death with Dignity for Future Generations
Please, let’s make sure this law becomes a reality in New York and every other state still fighting for this critical healthcare need. It’s the kindest thing we can do for those we love and for ourselves. Join me now by taking the pledge to insist that Death with Dignity becomes available to all terminally ill patients who need it.
