By Emma Granquist Houghton
What do actress Nicole Kidman and Oscar-winning director Chloé Zhao have in common? The obvious answer is Hollywood. The less obvious answer? Both have recently expressed an interest in becoming death doulas, helping shine a spotlight on a role that has been growing in importance as more people seek compassionate, personalized support at the end of life.
Death doulas offer non-medical care, such as emotional, practical, and spiritual support to dying people and their loved ones. Depending on a person’s needs, a death doula may help facilitate conversations about end-of-life wishes, create meaningful rituals, provide companionship, assist families in navigating difficult decisions, or simply be a steady presence during an often overwhelming time. As conversations about death, dying, and end-of-life care become more open and accessible, interest in this work continues to grow.
That growing interest is one reason I recently completed a death doula training myself. Through the experience, I gained a deeper understanding of the many ways death doulas can support people nearing the end of life and the loved ones who care for them.
When Public Conversations About Death Become Personal
The growing visibility of death doulas is due in part to public figures like Nicole Kidman and Chloé Zhao, who have spoken openly about their interest in the work. After the death of her mother, Kidman shared at the University of San Francisco Silk Speaker Series event why she would like to become a death doula, “As my mother was passing, she was lonely and there was only so much the family could provide,” she said. “That’s when I went, ‘I wish there was these people in the world that were there to sit impartially and just provide solace and care.’”
Kidman has described the role of a death doula as “very beautiful” and said that helping people and families during the final stage of life feels very important to her.
Zhao, the Academy Award-winning director of Hamnet, has similarly explored death doula training as a way to better understand mortality. She has spoken about confronting her own fears around death and learning to approach the end of life with greater openness and acceptance. Her interest reflects a growing recognition that preparing for death is also a way of learning how to live more fully.
“You can’t run from this feeling. Your body is changing, and you can feel death. And because I’m so scared of it, I have no choice but to start to develop a healthier relationship with it, or the second half of life would be too hard.”
Their interest mirrors a broader cultural shift. As people become more willing to talk about death, they are also seeking resources and support that center on the emotional, spiritual, and human aspects of dying. According to the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance, membership has grown dramatically in recent years, reflecting increasing awareness of the role death doulas can play in end-of-life care.
Training as an End-of-Life Doula
I enrolled in a death doula training to deepen my understanding of how to support someone at the end of life. What I didn’t expect was to come away with far more than knowledge. The experience challenged my assumptions, expanded my perspective, and offered valuable lessons not only about dying, but also about living.
The training started with a focus on being present with the person who is dying. In a culture that often treats death as something to avoid discussing, fixing, or fighting at all costs, death doulas create space for honest conversations and meaningful connections. They help people identify what matters most, communicate their wishes, and navigate one of life’s most profound transitions with dignity and support.
That support often extends beyond the dying person to the family members and loved ones caring for them. Millions of people find themselves caring for a parent, spouse, sibling, or close friend with little preparation and no roadmap. They are balancing medical appointments, difficult decisions, financial concerns, and anticipatory grief, all while trying to be present for someone they love. Many caregivers describe feeling isolated, exhausted, and overwhelmed, yet their experiences often remain invisible.
Death doulas help fill some of those gaps. They cannot take away the sadness of losing someone you love, but they can help make the journey feel less lonely. Sometimes that means facilitating a conversation that has been avoided for years. Sometimes it means helping someone create a legacy project for their children or grandchildren. Sometimes it simply means sitting quietly beside a person and bearing witness to a moment that cannot be fixed.
The training reinforced something I have learned through my work at Death with Dignity: people deserve choices, information, and compassionate support at the end of life. Whether someone is creating an advance directive, exploring hospice care, having difficult conversations with loved ones, or simply reflecting on what matters most, these discussions can help ensure that a person’s values remain at the center of their care.
Bearing Witness to End-of-Life Care
Death is a universal part of the human experience, yet many of us are never taught how to talk about it. Death doulas are helping change that. By encouraging open conversations and providing compassionate presence, they remind us that while we may not be able to control every aspect of dying, we can create more opportunities for connection, comfort, and dignity along the way.
If you are a death doula or have cared for a loved one at the end of life, we want to hear your story. Caregivers’ experiences are powerful and too often overlooked. By sharing your story, you can help raise awareness about the realities of end-of-life care and support efforts to expand compassionate end-of-life options for others.